


Star Wars: A Final Hope

by rosewritesfiction



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Genre: Armitage Hux angst, Ben Solo - Freeform, Ben Solo x OFC, Ben Solo/Kylo Ren - Freeform, F/M, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren x OFC, Multi, OFC - Freeform, Original Character(s), Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-03 21:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20460089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosewritesfiction/pseuds/rosewritesfiction
Summary: Han Solo rescues a girl from enslavement and takes her in.  When Leia meets her, she feels a power within her that she hadn't felt since her son still went by Ben Solo.  Against Han's wishes, Leia plots to use everything she's taught Luminara to her advantage.  If the resistance had a spy before, they've haven't had one like this.  She's Leia's final hope.  Her mission: bring back Ben Solo at his own will.  The only thing that Leia doesn't tell Luminara is how to achieve this.  So, Luminara improvises and she's in deeper than she ever thought she would be.





	1. You're My Final Hope

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea while I was away from the fan fiction world and it's been eating away at me. I have to write this out because I've been living it In my head since I watched The Force Awakens with wonder on opening night so many years ago. Enjoy and feel free to talk to me about the story! The only thing I ask is that you remain respectful of one another and respectful of one another's opinions. We all love who we love and ship who we ship. You can disagree, but please do not shame anyone. Go into this with an open mind. It's a new take on the new trilogy we've been blessed with.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at Luminara's mission, and a peek into her past.

_ **THEN** _

“I know you don’t like lying to him, but he’ll thank you when you come back here one day and you’ve done what neither of us have been able to do.” Nara could feel the passion in Leia’s voice, how badly she wanted her son back. She hadn’t known her for long, but she’d known Han for almost a year. Since the day that he saved her, she vowed she’d pay him back. She was a nameless girl in the grand scheme of the universe, but she had skills that most did not. They might not have been conventional, but they kept her alive until the fateful night that Han Solo walked into the grimey bar she’d been forced to call home.

“I know what the end goal is, but I’m not sure how you expect me to even get his attention, let alone let him. . .feel the force.” It felt weird to say, _ the force _. She couldn't say it like it was something she fully understood, but she’d have to if she was going to do what Leia asked of her.

“He’s strong, like you. What you felt with me the day we met, amplify it and you’ll be able to imagine what he’ll feel. In fact, you’ll feel it, too. He won’t be able to ignore it. You’re a beautiful girl with extraordinary gifts. I know you don’t fully understand how they work, but you will. He’ll feel it, radiating from right here.” Leia pointed her finger at Nara’s heart, pressing the tip of her index finger against the material of her clothing momentraily. It was a warm touch, as small as it was; a mother’s touch, to be exact. It was one Nara could only recall through hazy childhood memories. 

“I know you’ll find a way.” Leia placed her hands on either side of Nara’s face, carefully taking one last look at her. The young girl was striking, her green eyes inviting, her hair a flaming aura surrounding her. “Luminara, you’re my final hope.”

  



	2. Oblivious and Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nara fights to get closer to Ben, but Kylo is trying as hard as he can to prevent her from doing so.

_ **NOW** _

“Why is it that you never give me credit for my progression?” Nara demanded as the door closed soundlessly behind her. It was a room that was once exclusively used by Kylo Ren. Now it was hers, too. Initially she thought she’d earned it somehow, the honor of sharing a dressing room of sorts with him. But it was only because their gear differed tremendously from the stormtroopers’. It was protected in the dark chamber, lit only by the glow of white strips of light. 

Ben said nothing. When Nara thought of him, she called him Ben. She knew him through his mother. When General Leia Organa told her the tragic tale of how she’d lost her son she didn’t refer to him as the alter ego he’d taken on. She called him by his name. One day, Nara planned to do the same, but not yet.

“Nice talk,” she retorted, giving up for the day. She felt like she couldn't break him. At least, not again. There was one night when he seemed authentic. When she looked at him then in the white light, she saw the man that everyone feared: Kylo Ren. He wanted her to fear him, too. She could feel it. But because of their first encounter she didn’t. When they met, he was Ben. Even though he called himself Kylo, donning his dark robes and stoic expressions, she saw Ben the second their eyes met.

The young redhead’s sarcastic remark was enough to cause anger to flare up inside of Kylo. Most of what she did evoked this emotion, though the feeling was not as strong as it was with others. There were other things she did that made him feel something he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel. Sometimes, when she looked at him so expectantly, waiting for him to say something she thought she deserved to hear, he forgot where he was. The world beneath him would shift and his heart would swell. He hated that feeling.

Just before Nara pressed the exit pad, he spoke, careful not to sound too eager. “You’d like that, wouldn't you?”

The shock of him giving her a response momentarily outweighed her confusion. As she turned to face him, she wore a frown. It was the first time Kylo had stopped to look at her defined features, unusually exposed. Her robes hid what he’d been trying so hard to forget. He’d once seen her in less than that. Now that she was not wearing them it was hard not to picture when her black shirt clung to her the way it did.

“I’d like it if you carried on a real conversation with me? Yes, typically we emotional beings like communication.”

“I finally give you the attention you’ve been pining after and you decide to waste it with your wit?” His frown matched hers, though hers had since faded. Now there was a distinct curve in her lips that he felt weakened by. 

“There isn’t anything or anyone I want badly enough to  _ pine  _ after.” She couldn’t hide her annoyance. Her mission was to bring him home to Leia. Or, at the very least, make him stray from the dark path he’d chosen. She was well aware of the fact that he wouldn’t want to join forces with her if she was undesirable, but his petulance made it hard for her to be so alluring.

“Would it help you if I gave you credit from now on? You’re my responsibility now. You obviously feel differently about me now than you did the night that we met, but you aren’t here for the purpose of getting along with me. You’re here because it would’ve been a waste to leave you. I can feel how strong you are, like Snoke. My only business with you is to teach you what I know.”

“Of  _ course _ it would help me. I don’t know how you were raised but typically you feel better when you know you’re doing a good job. Everything I do is never enough for you and I end up feeling like I’m exactly where I was the night you found me: oblivious and weak.”

To him, Nara had progressed quite well for someone with no prior experience in the Jedi Arts. It took only moments of being in the same room with her for him to realize that the force was strong within her. She knew so much more than she was letting on, but he didn’t know that. If she allowed him to see all that she could do, he’d wonder where she learned it. 

“If it means you’ll progress faster, then I’ll do it.” He wasn’t looking at her when he said this, mostly because he wasn’t accommodating to anyone. Ever. People bent over backwards for him while he never had to lift a finger. Yet, now that he was training Luminara, he felt less burdened by the idea of adjusting his methods so that they worked better for her. Part of him liked the idea that she wouldn’t think he thought so little of her. 

His words revealed to her that she was making some sort of progress with his trust. If he was willing to not be so cold towards her, that meant she was one step closer to penetrating his hard exterior.

“Then I’ll save my snarky remarks and just say ‘thank you.’” 

She didn’t see it, but he watched her leave. He paid close attention to the curve of her hips and the way that they swung slowly as she walked. Her casual attire was still too much for him. Despite the fact that he was alone, he was still fighting the truth. He felt unfamiliar aches in his body when he thought of her. His mind was worse than any other part. If he was doing things the right way, he wouldn’t feel anything for her. He tried his hardest to be everything that a Jedi was supposed to be, but she prevented him from it. 

The flare of blinding rage was back again. As he took it out on the cabinet door that fostered Nara’s robes, hitting the door until his knuckles bled, he tried to thinking about anything but her. He felt was the anger and frustration, a magnitude of it that had built up over time. Not just with her, but with everyone and everything. He was used to feeling it all the time. It helped him be who he was supposed to be.

When his heart rate steadied he finally accepted what he’d been fighting for weeks: the anger couldn’t even make him forget about what Nara made him feel. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to see bonus material? Check it out on my Tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rosewritesfiction


	3. To The Resistance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at Han's first conversation with Nara after he helped her escape. It doesn't take long for him to see that she's the sort of person Leia looks for.

** _Then _ **

“You’re not going to tell me what your name is?” Han asked as he held out a canteen full of water. Based on the conditions he’d saved her from, he could only guess that she hadn’t been offered anything on a regular basis. He could see how badly she wanted the water. There was something else in her fixated gaze that told him she most likely didn’t trust him or the integrity of the water.

“Look, it’s free and it’s not poisoned. I’ll drink some if you want me to, just to show you.” There was a heavy pause, one that he thought to fill with yet another offering. "I'm Han, by the way."

Still, Nara hesitated. Rather than accepting it, she sat back against the seat of the booth within his ship. It was worn, but comfortable. It was also more than she’d had in years. The floor of the multi-purpose pit she and the other women had been confirmed to made most things look like luxuries.

"My name is Luminara, but it sounds ridiculous so people call me Nara." 

"Not as ridiculous as someone who doesn't want water after what we just went through." His attempt at lighten the mod failed, but he had a sense that it wasn't because she didn't trust him. There was something else that prevented her from taking the thing that he knew she needed. She beautiful, but the outfit and makeup only did so much. The makeup had rubbed off in places when they fled the scene. There were bruises that he hadn't seen before, but he could've guessed that they were there. Her outfit couldn't have done much to make her feel safe with him. The skimpy and thin material reminded him of a predicament from his past, one that made him miss his estranged wife.

"If you won't take the water, could you at last take the jacket?" He nodded to the leather piece he'd sat beside her, not thinking handing something directly to her would go over so well. Now, he could see that she wasn't scared. It was something else.

Nara sensed that he was asking her to put on her jacket for reasons beyond that of her potential discomfort. She had ignored it when he'd offered it to her because she didn't want to take anything from anyone. She never had. But the sense that maybe he might be uncomfortable with her lack of clothing donned on her. He looked like someone that could help the other girls, so she picked it up, putting it on as she spoke. 

“Why did you help me? What about the others?” She didn't care about herself because, despite the fact that she'd prayed she'd somehow be able to escape, she couldn't forget everything that she'd been through. All of the memories swirled around in her mind, reminding her that they were still happening as she sat, talking to the man.

“You were the closest to me and, frankly, I could see by the way you acted when that scumbag grabbed you shortly after I walked in that you wanted to fight. If I told you to run, I knew you would.” It didn’t seem like enough for her to relax, so he continued. “I took you because I’m freeing you, not because I want you for myself.”

“I appreciate it but I’m not one of the girls that had it the worst. There are others than deserve it much more than I do.”

“Are you a murderer?” Han countered, his voice softening. He took into account that being held captive could change a person, and he didn’t know how long she’d been trapped and forced to work.

“No,” Nara responded without hesitation, something in her eyes told her hero that she was nearly offended.

“Then you deserve to get out just as much as the others. Unless you’ve got some other moral hold up. I can always take you back if you feel like it’s better.” He was bluffing, but he could see the way that she considered it.

“If you’re some sort of hero then. yes, you should go back. If you have to take me, then so be it. A day can make or break you there. If someone isn’t satisfied with your service, or the way you look, you could end up dead. Especially if you're new and you haven't proven you're worth keeping alive. He's probably taking his anger out one then right now because of me. he lost a lot of money when I left.”

“I know some people, alright? I’m going to send a message and let them know what’s going on here. I’m sure they could get a few good recruits from your friends.”

“Recruits?” Nara asked, unable to hide her interest. "And they're not my friends. I just don't think they deserve to live like this."

Han smiled, hinting at the man he’d once been. If he had smiled like that prior to their conversation, Nara wouldn’t have trussed that he wasn’t some freak ready to take her somewhere else for someone to buy. He was charming, even in his old age.

“Someone that has enough man power to shut down a shit hole like that, and just enough resources to take in anyone that’s willing to lend a hand. I’m actually going there after I take you where you want to go. Where’s home? I’ve got plenty of fuel.”

Nara appeared to sink into the seat, but only slightly. “I don’t really have one. If it’s still there then it won’t make a difference. I don’t have anyone, anyway.”

The resistance sounded especially fitting for Nara. He knew that Leia would know what to do with her. Nurturing someone had never been his suit, not even when he’d had his son. “How long has it been?” He couldn’t hold back his curiosity, and wondered if it would make her retreat from him. The one thing he could see was that she could be someone that made a difference. She put herself before others, even if she claimed have no emotional attachment to them.

The only thing that she did was revert her eyes from his eyes, looking down at her hands. “Since I left my home or since I got here?”

“You can tell me both. if you want. You’ve just gotta come up front with me. The wookie's usually my co-pilot. I thought you'd find me a little less intimidating.” The conner of Nara’s mouth turned up before she could think to stop it from happening. "So, to the resistance?" Han asked as she stood. He moved aside, allowing her to go first. 


	4. A Knight With No Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nara tires a new tactic in getting through to Ben, pushing his limits more than she should. In a moment of blind decision-making she challenges him in a way that somehow comes to work in her favor.

_ **Now** _

The glow of the sun setting on the water before Nara made her feel warm inside. The wave a nostalgia hit her hard. She didn’t like to think of her mother or her childhood, but when she did, she clung to the memories of sitting in the soft sand atop a quilted blanket. She couldn’t recall what food they were eating, if they had any at all. There was no explanation that she could find as to why they were on the beach that day. All she knew was that she was happy.

It became obvious very quickly that this was only a dream, as the happy memory shifted and morphed into something that it wasn’t. Nara remembered her mother dying quite clearly, each stage burned into her mind. They were never separated by the harsh men that came to take her away like she was in the dream. Their cruel hands ripped her from her mother’s grasp as she screamed and fought, to no avail. The desperation in her mother’s eyes was heartbreaking as she, too, fought to prevent them from taking her was the last thing Nara saw before she woke abruptly. 

Her heart raced and her head hurt, neither sensation new to her. She slept deeply, as she often did when she dreamed. Every pleasant scenario that played behind her eyes always turned bad. She credited her past for it, though she couldn't change it or erase it. Now having a home , finding a community within in the Resistance made it easier to live with, thought nothing would ever ease the panic and sadness she felt each time she woke. 

Salt was thrown in her fresh wound when she got out of bed and saw herself in the small mirror on the adjacent wall. Her eyes were her just like her mother’s, making it harder for her to push what she’d seen aside. All she could tell herself was that it wasn’t the worst dream she’d had, but even that trudged up uglier things in her head.

The time on the clock beside her bed indicated that it was too early to get anything to eat. It meant she’d need to find something to fill the time. Sleeping again was not an option, even if she really tried to fall back asleep she wasn't capable of it. 

The designated training area was dark and cold without anyone inside of it. Because Nara preferred darkness it didn’t bother her. The dim light of the arsenal on the far side of the room was all that she went by, though it was enough for her. She wasn’t training as much as she was meditating. Leia claimed it helped her establish a better understanding of her connection to the Force, but she hadn't been able to feel any changes linked to meditation. She'd only ever sat in silence, trying and failing to clear her mind. 

After an immeasurable amount of time she declared she'd been doing it wrong once again, never having done it right in the first place. The irritation that arose at her repeated failure continued to build. Her own reflection caught her attention when she rose from the ground. She wasn't used to seeing herself and not particularly disliking the way she appeared. Her newfound body thanks to regular access to food and water made her appreciative of her appearance.

Observing herself seemed to distract her from her negative thoughts. It had been almost a year, but she still checked for bruises or scratches. They'd been a constant in her life for so long that she almost missed finding them and watching their stages of healing. Occasionally, she’d acquire a small scratch or bruise, but it was nothing compared to before, something she was ultimately grateful for. 

The previous day, she’d fallen onto her back while sparring with Kylo. The soreness in her shoulder was enough to make her curious. She removed her shirt and turned around so the mirror could capture her back. As she looked over her shoulder, she searched for anything other than internal soreness. The dark material of her bra could’ve been covering something, and a small part of her hoped that that was the case. The poor lighting didn't help her at all.

Then came her next observation, which made her heart warm. Her spine was no longer visible. Muscle was slowly building on her small frame, something that had never been possible before. There was a layer of fat on her body, making it so that her elbows and knees were no longer pointed. Her legs no longer looked like odd attachments to her body, but like they belonged. It was possibly the first time she’d managed to stop and see that she looked healthy, perhaps for the first time in her life.

The door opening made her jump. Kylo's sudden presence forced her to remain composed. She couldn't laugh off her jumpiness or make a comment about him startling her. It made it worse that her shirt was not on her body, but enclosed in her fist, clenched much tighter than it had been before.

“You’re in here early,” he said, allowing the silence to drag on for too long. He didn’t say this like he was making conversation. It was more like it was meant as some sort of accusation. At least, that’s how it felt to Nara. There wasn’t anything friendly or conversational about his voice.

“I couldn’t sleep and I don’t have anything else to do.” If he were a normal person, and if she trusted him enough, she might’ve added that she could only find small ways to waste time when she was enslaved, so now she hated not filling her time with something useful. 

“So you came in here to...?” The assertive element of his tone again made her want to say something that would certainly send him off the rails, but she refrained from doing so.

“Meditate. Or, at least, attempt to. I don’t know,” she paused, looking down at her hands. “I’m just trying to do something, to get better. It’s easier sometimes to try and figure things out before it’s time for us to meet.” Truthfully, there wasn’t anything that he’d shared with her that Leia hadn’t. To him, she was clueless to the ways of the Force and she had yet to harness physical power. She had learned a lot from the general, enough to shield her knowledge from Ben.

“You’re making an effort,” he stated, sounding almost unsure of his words. The small, firm nod told her why.

Due to her previous situation, she didn’t feel exposed, standing across from him, her shirt in her hands rather than on her body. She focused on him as she usually would, even stepping towards him. “Is this you giving me credit?”

“Is it not enough for you?”

“I never said it wasn’t,” she said calmly, less confrontational than he was; not confrontational at all, to be exact. “You’re not exactly an easy person to read, so I wanted to know if that’s what you were doing. And now that I know that it is, it will make things easier for me.”

“Me going easy on you can’t be how you learn here. If I did that for you then I’d be failing you as a mentor. If Snoke works with you, he won’t be understanding.” This hinted to her that he _did_ care, otherwise he wouldn’t have thought so far ahead about her potential treatment. Even though she didn’t need anyone going easy on her, she considered that it might make him feel more needed if he believed she did. 

So far, the closest she’d gotten to achieving Leia’s request had been the night she met him. It wasn't what she’d planned. The events unfolded the way they did purely by accident. She was starting to think she’d need to replicate that night if she wanted to move towards her goal. After all, she wasn't there to work her way up to earning Snoke's approval, or even a larger role in the Order. She was there to sway Ben Solo to change sides.

“You can do things however you want. I only wanted you to approach things with me differently. I never asked you to change your ways entirely. I just wanted a little credit. You don’t  _ have _ to give it to me. I guess you really shouldn’t, anyway, unless it's solely for my effort.” When Kylo remained silent, Nara went on. “The only time I’ve been able to do what you said I’d be able to was the night you found me. And all I did was move a glass a few inches, so now that I think about it makes more sense that you’d be so impatient with me. You brought me here because you thought I could do more.”

It was a situation that Kylo didn’t think he could allow himself to be in again, especially not with Nara. The night they met was a night he wasn’t sure repeating would be wise. He was at war with himself, trying to prove that he had proposed she come back with him because he felt her sensitivity to the Force could be used to better the Order. As far as he delved into the memory of that night, he couldn’t find proof of that. Deep down he knew he selfishly wanted her to come back with him for a mix of a few reasons.

What he felt when he went near her for the first time was alarming. The closer her got to her, the stronger he could feel the Force within her. It was almost magnetic. He’d been around enough people with Force Sensitivity to know the different degrees of their connection to it. Hers almost scared him initially. He thought she could be a match to his own power, but when she was seemingly unaware of her gift, he abandoned that presumption.

Next came the reason he even bothered to continue speaking to her. If she was already a woman and had no previous Jedi training, he was smart enough to know that it would be a long time before she could utilize her abilities. Yet, when it came time for him to return to base, he extended the invitation and proposed she would be useful. It was true that she would be, but he knew he would be the one teaching her.

Even as he felt that small swelling in his heart for her that night, he still went on with requesting she accept his proposal. He knew the potential danger of doing so, yet he pressed on. He risked forming yet another emotional attachment that he did not need. He’d spent every night since trying to make up an excuse as to why. 

“I brought you here because I know you can do more.” His tone wasn’t gentle or comforting, but matter-of-fact. “I’ve met people less powerful that can do a lot more than what you’ve done. You just need to work on harnessing your power. The more you doubt yourself and your connection to the Force, the harder you make things.”

“Then I guess I’ll just try meditating again,” she replied, not meaning it seriously, but allowing him to think she did. She sounded hopeless.

When he removed the distance between them, standing behind her she was facing the mirror again. He towered over her, and that alone commanded her attention. Their eyes met through their reflections and Kylo spoke.

“Do you want me to do what I did that night?”

Nara’s throat felt suddenly dry, and her head lighter. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it shortly after. Her heart beat loudly in her ears and it didn’t help her. Men didn’t make her weak. They never had. But, with that simple question, he left her momentarily disoriented. The memory he provoked was the cause of her speechlessness.

“I mean when I explained things to you, how you can feel the Force in all living things.” He placed his large hands on her arms only to move them off so that they hovered over her skin. “I can feel it surrounding you. I can even feel it when we’re far apart, in different places, different planets. I don’t need to be this close to you, but that’s because I know what it feels like. Even in my hands, right now, it’s a different sensation than when I felt you from my bed.  I could feel something was wrong. I tried to reach out, thinking maybe you’d notice. We can communicate like that because of what we are. I couldn’t see what was hurting you, though, and I knew you couldn’t hear me.”

His attempt to penetrate her mind, no doubt, was what had roused her from her sleep and interrupted her dream. “If I had known, I would’ve tried.” Nara feigned defeat.

“You have the ability to know without me having to tell you I’m doing it. You should just feel it. Let me show you what it feels like.” 

Panic washed over her as his hands moved towards her head, but she tried her best to calm herself. He couldn’t get inside her head because, if he did, she feared he’d see something that would give her away.

“You’re afraid. I can feel it. If you trust me you won’t be scared and it might work. What are you so afraid of me seeing?” The way his eyes began to search her own solidified her panic. On a whim, she did something she’d later regret.

“Then we’ll do it another way,” she said quickly, turning around so that she faced him, occupying her hands with readying her shirt. 

“You can’t keep secrets from me. No one can.”

“You don’t know me and if you did you’d understand.” She pulled her shirt over her head almost too aggressively. 

“Why you’re scared?”

“If you knew where I’d been before you found me you’d be more empathetic as to why I don’t want someone rooting around my mind, digging up old memories. At least I like to believe you’re capable of that.”

Her words were calculated, hoping to trigger something inside of him in addition to his anger.

“I didn’t get where I am now because I was empathetic,” he said defensively, his fists clenched so hard that they became white. 

She had planned to storm out of the room, but then she saw his fists. He was suppressing an outburst, one that she felt she needed to provoke further. She stayed, showing her innate lack of fear toward him. “That night, which I know you’re actively trying to block out of your mind, I saw who you could be. Every single time you open your mouth something different comes out than what you’re actually thinking or feeling. You’re either scared, or you’re pushing hard to maintain the illusion that you’re someone you’re not. If you were really the person that everyone here seems to cower from then you’d treat me like everyone else. But you don’t. You let me say things to you that make you want to break things, or choke me like you’ve done to countless men here. You just take it from me and it’s either because you care about me, or because Snoke won’t let you kill me and you don’t have as much power as you’d like me to believe. I may be confused but I’m not–”

His hand closing around her throat stopped her from speaking. She could still breathe, but the firm threat of his grip was present. It was Kylo’s way of taking back the power from her. He needed to prove she couldn’t say things like that to him, that she was not his friend or his equal. She was someone that he could crush and break in a heartbeat and she needed to understand that. He had the ability to aid her in understanding. Yet, there he was, staring into her eyes and holding her life in his hands and he couldn’t bring himself to tighten his grip around her neck.

“You think you’re important to him, that you  _ really _ matter? You haven’t done anything for him  _ or _ the Order. All you’ve done is waste my time.”

“Then what are you going to do about it? Clearly you want to kill me. Or hurt me, in the least. So do it. I  _ know _ pain. I can  _ take _ pain. Do what you're about to do so I can show you how little you scare me.”

If anyone else had said this, Kylo wouldn’t have hesitated. But there was something in the words that Nara spoke that made him see something inside her that he had not seen in anyone before. He spent years being angry about the way his family treated him, and about his uncle’s betrayal. Because she was so willing to be hurt by him, and so unwilling to be afraid of him, he wanted to know what she had been through that made her so bold.

The scars on her back had been unmistakable the night they met, but she’d brushed them off when he asked about them. They were deep and varied in size and color. Some were faded and some were seemingly more fresh than others. Whatever the cause, it wasn’t from a brief period. She’d been hurt over time. 

And, Kylo considered, if she’d been hurt badly, too, then she might understand his own pain. Keeping her around so that he could sort out his own inner conflict seemed like it was the most logical explanation for his inability to dispose of her. That, and the lingering feeling he refused to think about: the weakness she made him feel and how he liked that weakness. It was only briefly each time, but he mulled over the feeling, trying to replicate it on his own as he laid awake at night. No matter what, he always seemed to fail.

Nara’s voice was softer when she continued. “There isn’t anything you can do to me that someone hasn’t already done. I won’t damage your ego by allowing you to believe it’s my stubbornness that makes me impervious to your threatening facade. Some people you just can’t scare. I’m one of them. You can accept it, or you can let it eat away at you and maybe sometime soon you’ll be able to actually do it.”

For a moment he’d forgotten how he was holding her, his hand still curled around her throat. He slowly lowered his hand, wanting to tell her that this was not a surrender on his part, though it so obviously was. He didn’t feel like there was anything he could say that would make him look less weak. The notion of her seeing him look that way worried him rather than angered him.

“I don’t think I want to.” 

Nara was taken aback, truly, but felt fulfilled by his honesty. It had been weeks since he last showed the slightest trace of vulnerability. She thought it would be several more before she made any more progress.

“Then, maybe, when it’s just you and I, you do and say what you want and what you mean. I think you’re so angry all the time because you bottle up your true thoughts about feelings. And no, I don’t expect you to share them with me, but might I suggest you confide in at least one person? I can tell that you don’t talk to anyone. I know you spend all of your time alone. I would, too, if everyone was afraid of me. Maybe I’m the only one here who doesn’t fear you. And maybe that’s a good thing. Do with it what you will, but I’m not going to put my life on hold forever when I’m not even sure what I’m here for. 

“There’s no clear mission for me. Do I just follow you into combat and kill all who oppose you and the Order? Until what, everyone in the universe is dead? If that’s all you have for me here, then maybe I’m not the right fit for this. You want to make me a knight, don't you ? I don’t want to be a knight with no purpose other than senselessly killing people for having differing opinions.”

Manipulating Ben Solo hadn’t been on Nara’s agenda, but the more time she spent with him the easier it became. She could feel his inner conflict radiating off of him. She could see it in his eyes when she spoke. If she made herself important enough to him, she felt she might be able to get him to follow her anywhere. When she looked at him, all she saw was a lonely man trying to find a fulfilling purpose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: this is the first thing I wrote for this story. I wrote it after going to the midnight premiere of The Force Awakens and I've been thinking about this ever since.


	5. Taking Initiative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nara seeks Hux's help, but not for the reasons most would. Kylo happens to catch wind of their meeting and he has a few questions about it.

**Now**

“Jakku,” Nara observed, trying hard to pinpoint where the planet was on the map displayed. “What’s on Jakku?”

“Nothing that concerns you,” General Hux said quickly, closing the file. There were several other planets listed, followed by their coordinates, but Nara didn’t want to appear too interested. She knew that there was a possibility that the information could help the Resistance, and therefore found herself plotting to come back later and somehow get it to Leia; although she could hear the kind woman’s words echoing in her mind.

** _Then _ **

“What if I see something that might help? I could do more than just try to change his mind. Maybe someone could give me some sort of communicator? I know I’m not totally up to date on what’s out there, but I’m sure I can learn before I leave.” Nara’s time away from the free world had impacted her in more ways than she’d ever imagined it would.

“No,” Leia warned her. “Even if you had enough time, which you don’t, I don’t want you sending anything our way. The more you contact us the more you risk someone intercepting it or suspecting you’re someone other than who say you are. For your own safety, I’m only sending you with this.”

The bracelet Leia held out was simple, the stone ordinary. “Be honest with him about your past. Say this is all you have left. The more you lie, the more you’ll have to keep up with.”

“What does it do?” As Nara examined the bracelet, Leia took it from her and began to fasten it around her small wrist. 

“Nothing. You wear it and it tells us where you are. If you’re even in trouble, break it. I’ve got someone monitoring it in case that happens. I’ll send my best pilot after you if it comes to it, but I doubt it will. I trust you, and I trust him.”

** _Now_ **

“I can’t be curious?” The question was innocent enough on Nara’s part, but she needed to push for the information she needed. She wanted to have a deeper understanding of how things worked in case she ever needed it one day. The last thing she wanted to be was blind. “Maybe I’m hungry for knowledge. I’ve enjoyed learning something new.” 

“The  _ Jedi Killer  _ isn’t satisfying your desire to learn?” Hux inquired, mocking Kylo Ren and everything he stood for.

“I’d say he’s doing just fine. I can’t spend  _ all _ day training with him. He’s got places to be and things to do. I heard your speech the other day, with the Stormtroopers. I found it fascinating that you came up with the training regime and executed it so well.”

“The regime isn’t classified,” he informed her, barely taking his eyes off of the screen in front of him. He occupied himself with sifting through things he’d already read, though it was pointless. “You can read all about it.”

“I did,” she continued, stepping forward so that she was beside him finally. He looked up at her and she saw a flash of something behind his eyes. She couldn’t place what it was, but she got the feeling he didn’t like being talked down to, literally or figuratively. Casually, she leaned back against the edge of the large desk, still not daring to interfere with his space. “I happened to notice that you frequent this room, and now I know why.” It appeared to be his work area, though she wasn’t sure if it was his own, or if he shared it with others. There was nothing that personalized it. She looked around the room, taking in its contents. “This is where you come up with all of your ideas?”

“My ideas come to me all the time, I don’t just come here to think.”

Her eyes flitted calmly onto his, only for Hux to occupy himself with the keyboard in front of him again. He knew he’d been too defensive. It was the reason why Nara chose to get close to him in the first place. She could see the sort of man that he was deep down, and she knew that he would be the easiest to extract information from without him realizing it. From what she’d seen, she could tell that he hated not getting credit for things. 

“I was just curious,” she continued gently. “I’m sorry if I bothered you. I guess I just thought you’d be someone interesting to talk to” The small laugh that escaped her was accompanied by a small smile. “Now that I think about you’re clearly very busy.”

Right as Nara reached to press the exit panel to the door, Hux spoke. “People don’t come here to make friends. Not many people come here at all. This is the First Order. We have one mission.”

“That may be,” Nara said as she turned to face him again. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t get to know the people you work with. We don’t cross paths often, but if things work out with my training then we will. I read about your ideas and I found them intriguing. I thought you could teach me a thing or two. I’m not used to this world, you know. I’m trying my best to get a feel for it and Ren isn’t the most welcoming when it comes to questions or smalltalk. You seemed like you’d be easier to talk to.”

Hux still wasn’t sold. There was still something else about her that bothered him. If it wasn’t her strikingly beautiful looks that intimidated him, it was her quiet and even demeanor. Nothing seemed to shake her, not even one of Kylo Ren’s outbursts. She watched calmly, waiting for the violence to subside. Even he tended to flinch. 

“And what do you mean by that?”

“Well, I’ve never seen you choke a man before. Or take out an entire wall of monitors. You’re level-headed and you’re eloquent. If you change your mind about how you want to spend your time here, then I’m sure you can find me; assuming you do know my name, Genderal.”

“I’ve heard it a time or two,” he said, once again not meeting her eyes. He still held his head high.

A smile appeared again on her pale face, which remained free of all judgment. “I’m Luminara Varick. But my friends used to call me Nara.”

“Used to?”

“I’m not entirely sure where they are now. When our master’s pub was raided I got separated from them. I’d like to believe they’ve moved on with their lives and found at least some semblance of happiness.”

Hux sat forward, accidentally allowing himself to look outwardly interested in what Nara had to say. “Master?”

“I was enslaved for several years. I danced mostly, entertained the customers. And then there was some sort of brawl that turned out to be more than that, I guess. I don’t know that many details about it. I just know that I was able to get away. And then, shortly after that,  _ the  _ Kylo Ren found me and now I’m here. It’s a lot nicer than what I’m used to. And cleaner, too.”

Hux swallowed, nodding his head. He wasn’t sure what he’d imagined Nara’s background being, but it wasn’t anything like the truth. It left him wondering if he should say something to her.

“You danced?”

“Typically wearing less than this, yes. I did the same thing when I was free for a while, but I eventually found a place that let me keep my clothes on and just serve drinks, or deal cards. I liked that much better, for obvious reasons.”

“Slavery is legal where you’re from?”

“A lot of things are against the law, but it doesn’t mean someone isn’t willing to do it.”

“How did you even get caught up in something like that? You weren’t — ” He stopped, considering what he was going to say next. 

“Raised into it?” Nara asked, her voice showing just the slightest edge. She wasn’t actually for his work with the Stormtroopers. She found it barbarick and no different than what she’d endured. “No. Although I can’t imagine who I’d be if I had been. I don’t think I’d really understand humanity. I’d think that dancing and being groped was all that there was in the world. I think I’d hate men, too. You know, not one of them ever came along and wondered why I was so skinny, or why I had so many bruises. One could almost argue that they contributed to the problem.

“That’s not really part of the point, though. To answer your question, I ran away from an orphanage at sixteen. I didn’t fit it and I never had. I thought I could find a place where I did. Instead, I found a cruel place. To my surprise, I fit in better than I initially expected. I was good at what I was told to do, so I survived. Other girls had it worse than I did, but I still suffered.”

Hux was now hanging on to every word that she spoke, interested, for some reason, in her rough past. That’s why, when stopped speaking, as if realizing she’d said too much, he assured her that she was not bothering him.

“I should go. I told you I’d leave you to your work, but I got distracted. I don’t have anyone to talk to, so…”

“It’s certainly interesting enough,” he assured her. “Not that I love to hear about someone like yourself suffering like that.” He was nervous, suddenly, and he felt his palms begin to perspire. Despite his uncanny ability to always keep his uniform polished and perfect, he wiped them on his knees, anyway How long had it been since he’d spoken to a woman casually?

“I think everyone suffers. It’s just not apparent. There are some people who suffer and don’t even realize it. One could deprive themselves of something they need, be it food, sleep, a friend. If this is your private work area, I think you could make it a little more personal. Maybe add a photo of your family, or the person you love, maybe your children.” He averted his eyes, just like Nara had hoped. “You do have a family, don’t you?” She moved in closer, taking up her previous position next to him. 

There were a number of reasons why the general didn’t want to disclose the information to the near-stranger. The one that outweighed the rest was the fact that he was worried about how it would make him look. He had no wife, no children. His father was a cruel man. His mother was a nameless woman whom he had no relationship with. The feeling of inferiority that came with the memory of his father had engulfed his mind, leaving the silence to drag on for too long.

What he hadn’t expected was Nara’s hand on his arm. Her eyes were expectant, though patient. “You don’t have to tell me. I have a complicated past, so trust me, I understand. I never knew my father. And the few things I remember about my mother are horrible. She was kind, from what I remember. But she suffered until she died. And then I was taken to an orphanage, and then it closed to so I was sent to another. And then, you’re all caught up.”

She wanted to make him feel like he knew everything about her, hoping it would make him compensate with his own personal history. What she needed was for him to trust her because she had a feeling that Kylo Ren never would.

After she let her hand fall from his arm, he finally spoke. It was against his better judgment, but the comfort she made him feel was almost intoxicating. She looked to him like she was half his age, so his wandering mind began to feel a hint of guilt.

He swallowed dryly before he could get the words out. “I have a meeting I have to get to, but if you came seeking counsel, I’d be willing to give it to you, but only when I have time.”

They stood at the same time, and it made Nara smile, though she stepped back, putting a comfortable distance between them. “I appreciate the counsel part, but I really was just interested in what you do. If my training doesn’t pan out, I think you’d make a good mentor. Don’t you think? I think Ren would kill me if I knew I asked you that, but I think he’s ready to kill me, anyway.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” he nodded, simply happy to get a leg up on Kylo Ren. His protege appeared to be more eager to learn strategy than useless Jedi mind tricks. It was enough for him. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must prepare and the information is classified.”

“You’re excused,” Nara said, a hint of a smile as she turned to leave. The response was more playful than anything, intended to establish an informal relationship. “Thank you, General.” When the door closed behind her she found that she was more satisfied than she thought she would be. The feeling would’ve intensified if she knew that Hux was pulling up her file. He wasn’t scanning for errors in her stories, but dates. Her age was all he needed to know before he could will himself to see her again.

Just when Nara rounded the corner, Kylo did, too. He took in her presence, clearly surprised to see her in that particular area without him. “What are you doing here?” he asked suspiciously. His tone was still demanding enough to prevent her from thinking it was a casual curiosity.

“Speaking with General Hux.” Nara left it at that, not willing to waive under his hard gaze. 

“And what business do you have with him?”

“You want me prepared to meet with Supreme Leader Snoke, don’t you?”

“Am I not preparing you enough?”

“Are you supposed to prepare me completely?” Her question sounded stupid, and she regretted responding so quickly. “I want to be great, like you say I can be. I’d say a few lessons in battle strategy from him would certainly help me along the way, wouldn’t it?” Above all else, Nara maintained her calm demeanor, allowing herself to look innocent. “If it bothers you, I can always tell him I don’t need it.”

“Did he say that you did?” His frown satisfied her.

“No. But he told me I could have it if I wanted it. His help, I mean. Can you blame me for wanting more training? You always tell me I’m not working hard enough. Doesn’t this show you that I’m taking initiative and _ — _ ”

He silenced her with the raise of his hand and a shake of his head. “I don’t want to hear you begging me to acknowledge your initiative again. I hear it every single day.”

“Then you  _ do _ see it?” Nara asked, smiling teasingly.

Kylo released a sigh, then continued. “Okay, I have somewhere to be.” There was silence and as it drug on, he looked the young woman up and down. People moved out of his way so often that he expected her to do the same. He could see that she was challenging him, or so he guessed. He wasn’t stupid. 

“It was nice having this casual conversation with you, where we talk back and forth and you don’t yell at me or ignore me.” She lowered her voice as she moved out of his way, only to add, “If this is you trying, then I appreciate it.”

There was a sound behind the pair that caught their attention before he could respond. The hallway had been empty until Hux entered it. The sound of the door closing behind them was loud in the quiet space. Both Kylo and Nara looking at him made him straiten, mostly because it made him want to turn back.

“Have fun at your meeting,” Nara concluded so quietly that Hux was unable to hear what she’d said.

Kylo wondered how she had known that’s where he was going until he was left looking at the man he despised.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for giving this story a shot! I've got it all plotted out, but I'd love to hear what you want! I want your opinions and your advise. After all, I write this for you. Please be kind. I'm a life-long Star Wars fan, but I'm no expert. I research what I can to make the experience authentic for you. I stick to the rules of the universe as best as I can. 
> 
> Much love, Rose ♡


End file.
